“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing Fear to stop you from Growing, Evolving and Progressing.”
It happened too many times in the past. Mae spills her drink or drops her food, I get mad, I raise my voice at her, and then I feel like a terrible father for the rest of the day. Please say a silent amen if you can relate.
So, how to fix this? I obviously don’t like it, Mae doesn’t like it, but what can I do? After thinking it through, I’ve decided to use the power of visualization to cure this thorn in my personality. If I can reprogram myself and change the way I look at things, the outcome should also change. And so as part of my visualization process this morning, I work on seeing myself approaching the situation differently.
Day 49 – Saturday , May 9, 2015
4:52 AM – Wake up. Mae’s legs are all over my back and if I move too much she’ll wake up too. Go back to bed.
5:10 AM – Wake up again and do my wake up routine.
5:32 AM – Pray. Aroma. Guided meditation. Journal. Affirmation. Visualization board. Visualize how to not get mad at Mae when she spills things.
6:01 AM – Spiritual study: Liahona. David Edward’s article in the 2014 September Liahona on How to Learn for Real.
6:16 AM – Success study: Jim Rohn’s Challenge to Succeed. I want to listen to it another time.
6:45 AM – Exercise while listening to the Jim Rohn audio talk.
You must be wondering what I exactly did to visualize and change my thinking. It’s really simple (and works! Mami can attest to it):
- Visualize Mae spilling her drink all over the table (easy; I see this every day).
- Then see myself reacting to her. I say “oh no!” and then I visualize myself being mad, but taking a deep breath and saying a quick pray.
- Then I see myself telling Mae in a sweet voice, “that’s okay. It was an accident right? Daddy loves you, but this isn’t good, okay?”
- I also see myself asking her to help me clean up, and see us working together to clean up the mess.
- Then a hug and a kiss.
The main points to remember, is to really visualize every single detail: your emotions, your feelings, your words, your facial expressions, etc. Don’t leave anything out. And if the visualization doesn’t seem to go the way you wanted it to go, feel free to stop, rewind, and do it again and again.
I did this a few times, making changes here and changes there. For example, at first I left out the ‘oh no’ at the beginning, but then decided that she needs to know by the first moment that something shouldn’t have been done. And of course after that I kill her with love and kindness. Also I made additions to have her clean up the spill with me.
The result? From the very first incident onwards I was able to successfully do everything step by step and word for word as I had visualized. I handled every incident perfectly. And now, I truly believe that Mae now knows that I love her more than spilled milk.
Some other things: I’ve been encouraging Mami to find joy in her work, when she does chores. She says that she feels like a slave and just gets stressed out doing things like the dishes and the laundry. So I convinced her to work while listening to audio books. That way she can feel successful even while doing the monotonous everyday tasks.
Today I downloaded the following for her: the last General Conference, a women’s self-help book of loving one’s self, and Harry Potter 1 in Japanese. I don’t know if she will end up loving audio books as much as I do, but it’s worth a shot.
As you can see, the way that I’m using visualization has evolved. In fact, I think this may be the most practical way of employing the practice of visualization. Instead of just visualizing your life’s goals and dreams (which I will still continue to do), visualizing things that are more immediate and direct may actually be more beneficial.
What do you think? Have you ever used visualization in the way? Also, for you wives and mothers that stay home and perform routine tasks, how do you prevent yourself from feeling like a slave? How have you overcome this struggle? Please share your thoughts below. Thanks again for reading.
Image credits: www.wallpaperswa.com, SayingImage.com